Movie Maestros Brought To You By

Indoor Men's Magazine. IMM is a celebration of all men who love to live indoors and ne'er stray from the safety of the home they worked so hard to build. The October issue features the following:

1. Enjoy an interview with Brett Favre about why he enjoys watching football more than he enjoys playing.

2. Get your "Thermo-Stats" with a 30-question quiz to help figure out exactly what the right air conditioner temperature is for you.

3. Memorize Marty Goethe's Top 10 Excuses column every month--this month features the top excuses to get out of having to go hiking with the guys.

Find IMM on your local newsstand or subscribe today at our website. Be sure to mention Movie Maestros to get an extra 10% off of our already-depressed subscription prices.

Tugs

Tugs (PG-13; 124 mins.)

This compelling documentary follows the crews of two rival tugboats throughout an entire "tugging season" (beginning in mid-February and continuing through Guy Fawkes Day in November) as each ship strives to tug more ships than the other. The opening credits feature a dazzling split-screen, musically-driven sequence reminiscent of A Hard Day's Night, right down to the McCartney-esque phony mustache worn by one of the captains to evade a harbor master to whom he owes some paperwork.



Right from the start, we learn that we are dealing with two very different captains with different styles and ways of getting things done. Capt. Cunk of the Mako is a cold, serious man who loves staring at the horizon. By contrast, Capt. Besame of the H.M.S. Theodore Q. Tugboat is a vibrant, loving man who enjoys doting on his crew and spoiling his favorites with hard candies, and who takes great pride in announcing that his "cabin door is always open if anyone wants to chat about anything." In one memorable scene, Capt. Besame orders his men to abandon ship due to an engine fire. After the men jump overboard, Besame informs them through tears of laughter that the ship is not on fire, but that he thought they needed a "swim break."

When the crew of the Mako loses a bet to the crew of the TQT, the Mako is forced to take on a female crew member. The remainder of the film follows the crew's attempt to adapt to the woman, and accept her on her own terms. Also, one of the captains dies in a hailstorm, but it's not really relevant to the story arc.



All in all, Tugs is a fascinating look at the tug boat industry, but it is not without its faults. First, everyone in the film is apparently nicknamed "Tug," "Tugs," "Tuggy," or "Tugger," which makes things very confusing. Second, the constant double entenderes and punning on the word "tug" in reference to masturbation get old very quickly. Still, the film has much to love, not least of which is Director Liam Geese's choice to forego the tired "animal as a plot element" gimmick that has tarnished many otherwise laudable movies of late (think the rabbit in Mr. Persistence).

Mild but humorous sexist remarks; threatening remarks.

It Hurts Us

It Hurts Us (R; 124 min.)

Originally scheduled for a 2008 release, Spike Lee makes this joint worth the wait. Lee's new film explores the pain of white, middle-class suburbia. Zachary (Topher Grace) and Marilyn (Abbie Cornish), married after college, seem to have lost their ambition after only a couple of years of marriage. Lee limits his shots to the interior of the couple's three-bedroom (plus a bonus room over the garage), 2.5 bath, 1800 sq. ft. home. Both characters expected more out of their life but are learning to "settle." Lee refuses to pull any punches in the pivotal should-we-upgrade-to-granite scene, and Cornish's performance, reminiscent of Lady Macbeth washing her hands, makes you wish Zachary had gotten that raise. "I deserve this! I earned this! Laminate . . . it hurts me," Marilyn cries. Topher Grace is at his best in his character's candid response: "I know. It hurts us." This movie might hurt Zachary and Marilyn, but it only makes the world stronger. Beautiful film.

Domestic profanity, predictable sensual scenes, scuffed wood floors.

The Diary

The Diary (PG-13; 185 mins.)

When a woman (Jennifer Garner) returns to her childhood home following her mother's death, she discovers a diary her mother kept years earlier to record the trials and tribulations she experienced in raising a family. At first, Garner finds solace in the diary, and finds it helps her to relate to her mother and find closure in her loss. But her comfort turns to horror when she discovers that her mother was really tacky. For example, the mother often wrote down things she had overheard and thought were very profound but were in fact incredibly inane and idiotic. To make matters worse, the mother had horrible grammar, and didn't understand the difference between "they're," "there," and "their." As Garner struggles to understand a woman she thought she knew, but who apparently thought that a picture of Jesus petting a cat was "beautiful," she must come to terms with the fact that her mother was, in the end, just human. Don Henley's soundtrack is a master stroke, and features this summer's ubiquitous "Mama's Book."

Suggestive language; adult situations.

Tumbo Mtoto Mwanamke ("The Tummy Teller")

Tumbo Mtoto Mwanamke ("The Tummy Teller") (Not Rated; 93 min., English subtitles)

Originally released to Europe as the awkwardly translated "The Paunch Feeler," this Bram Van Paesschen vehicle is a quasi-documentary that tells the story of Idihi, an East African woman who has the delightful responsibility of traveling from village to village and telling pregnant women the gender of their soon-to-be-born children. The film artfully depicts Idihi's elegant dance around the women, pressing against their bellies and singing songs that describe how the baby is reacting. Baby girls, she posits, linger close to the spine in fear while boys fight off any prodding to protect their mother. At the same time, plague is drifting through East Africa and her home village, claiming children and old alike, breaking spirits and families in its wake. After a few days of weakness, Idihi realizes that she is not "suffering the plague." Rather, she is "suffering a child." As her belly grows, she becomes frustrated that she cannot tell the sex of her own baby and the implications for her business. She resolves to prepare for either gender, weaving clothes for a girl and a boy on her loom at home, etc. Van Paesschen's story and direction are convincing until the cloyingly sentimental ending (Spoiler Alert: She has twin boy and girl), which cancels all the tension built throughout the movie. In effect, Idihi's character and story have gone nowhere--save for the fact that she has two kids, a new respect for her gift, and has revived the spirit of life in her dying village. Still, the cinematography of the East African landscape is worth the price of admission. Limited release.

Graphic birthing scenes.

The Guitar Tuner

The Guitar Tuner (PG-13; 125 mins.)

Set in 1951, this sumptuous tale explores the interplay between a young war widow (Jennifer Aniston) and a professional guitar tuner (Chris Cooper) in post-war Baltimore. Feelings simmer quickly between the two, but since a guitar only has six strings, their interactions are very brief, drawing the courtship out over a period of 25 years. The tuning scenes are tastefully shot and leave much to the imagination, and the climactic scene, in which the tuner implores the woman to purchase dessicants for her guitar case, is heart-rending. Though the film feels a bit long at points (a long rant by Cooper about why he won't work with lutes, mandolins, or banjos goes on for about five minutes too long), most will find something to love in this Sundance Special Jury Prize Winner.

Unsettling tritones; crude language.